Oh the Irony
by onpermanenthaitus
Summary: Rated T for cursing and slight suggestive themes... CHAPTER THREE 3 IS NOW UP! after a very very long wait itys up * thx to a new computer ; please r & r. **now partially edited
1. oh, the irony chapter 1

**Hey everyone, its Jasper Hale is My Luver  
**

**Disclaimer: My name is not Stephanie Meyer.**

**p.s. i guess you've noticed i still dont have a computer so i got on the laptop and i edited a little, VERY little kay well enjoy and thanks for all the support i've gotten i appriciate it alot!**

**One last thing :P I am fully aware that Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie are in 'Collage' but things are always more fun with them around :p (and yes please pretend Jasper is still in high school with them)**

**On with the story :)**

EPOV

'Edward. Edward.' Alice's thoughts rushed into my mind 'Edward! I know you can hear me, I'm outside the door now let me in.' I sighed quietly, knowing Bella was still asleep, then opened the door 'Wow Edward, it took you long enough, I mean, a three toed sloth could have opened it faster,' She ranted

"Alice is there a reason you came in my room at," I looked at the clock "4:39 in the morning? Couldn't it have waited for Bella to wake up?" She cocked her head elegantly to the left

'How many hours of sleep does she need? She's been asleep for like seven hours and nine minutes, she should be fine, I haven't slept for over 100 years, and I'm perfectly fine.' I almost laughed 'perfectly fine' was not the right term to describe her.

"Well, what's the reason you came in?" I asked, getting more frustrated

'I just wanted to warn you that if you have to read at all today don't put any emotion in it because-' her face went blank, almost empty. An evil grin spread across her face, I quickly tried to read her thoughts but she was singing random songs in her head. she smiled at me then skipped out the door.

"Alice!" I hissed hoping not to wake Bella up; she stuck her head in the doorway

"What can I do for you" she said laughingly

"Shh! Anyways, when should I be expecting whatever it is today?" I asked hoping she would accidentally leave a clue or something… why bother getting my hopes up?

'What kind of sister would I be if I ruined that surprise." She teased and skipped away, probably to go rearrange her make-up in alphabetical order… again. Wait a minute she said that surprise, meaning that there's more then one. Crap, crap, crap.

I looked over at the clock again, this time it read 6:53 meaning Bella would need to be woken up soon. I heard a smash from downstairs, along with that smash a flood of thoughts came.

'What is wrong with Emmett?! He ruined a perfectly good game controller, just because he lost.' Came Jasper's thoughts. More smashing 'uh oh, Edwards not going to be too happy when he sees this…' Jasper's thoughts came again. I gently slid my arm out from under Bella and was downstairs before Emmett could say anything. Once I was at the bottom of the stairs I stopped dead -or maybe it's alive because I am dead- in my tracks. There was a smashed controller in my path, like I mean completely dismembered. Emmett was trying to tip-toe out of the room; I stopped him by grabbing the collar of his shirt. I looked around trying to find what else they broke, my piano was fine, the T.V. was fine, Bella was fine, the window was smashed, a car horn was blaring. Why would I be mad about a wind- a car horn? MY CAR! I ran outside to see a huge dent in the side of my Volvo. Lying in front of the dent, Emmett's game controller.

"EMMETT!" I screamed, this was my car! He knows darn well not to break windows or wreck my car and he. Did. BOTH!

'I got to get out of here, maybe I'll hide behind Bella…' Emmett's thoughts swam around my head; he was going to hide behind Bella? That's pretty sad… wait, Bella's asleep, he can't wake her up, she'll be klutzy as ever if he does.

"Emmett you wake Bella up and you're dead!" I warned

"Already am Edward, already am." He laughed, I tackled him, he yelped.

"Actually you're only mostly dead, which means you're still partially alive but I can change that." I growled while pinning him to the ground.

"Edward chill, I'll leave Bella out of this. Now I have much more important things to worry about, like how I'm going to fix that game controller" he tried to push me off him, I grudgingly got up.

"Edward-" Alice sang

"Not now Alice, I have to go wake Bella up."

'That's what I was going to say, anyways _Eddie_, school started 5 minutes ago.' It took a minute for the words to process. Translation: Bella's late! She is going to be really mad; I'm always supposed to wake her up so she's on time. I started to run up the stairs but stopped and turned to Alice

"And DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!" I screamed then continued running up the stairs. When I ran in to my room I was shocked with what I saw. Bella was sitting on my bed, fully dressed, arms crossed. Not good.

"Hello, Edward…Have a seat" she patted the bed next to her, I gulped

"Bella we have to get you to school" I said hoping to change the subject

"What are a few minutes, we're already late, So Why am I late?"

"Well it was, umm, well I got… distracted, yea I got distracted." I tried to explain, hoping she wouldn't ask how

"How were you distracted?" She asked, as if she could read my mind

"Umm well, you see Emmett threw his game controller so I went down to tell him to be quiet, so you could sleep and he had thrown it out a window and it hit my car. MY CAR! So now it has a dent in it." I flashed her a sad smile "Are you mad at me?" I asked innocently, trying to dazzle her with my eyes, she looked lost for a moment

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen! How dare you try to dazzle me while I'm mad at you!" She yelled, I looked at my feet sheepishly

"Sorry" I muttered

"So um, anyways, I'm not mad at you for making me late, I'm mad at you for not being here when I woke up. I had a bad dream…" she confessed

"want to tell me what it as about?" I asked

"Well, not really" she looked at her feet " its way to embarrassing"

"Are you sure?" i asked careful not to pressure her

"Come on, let's go to school. We don't need to be more then half hour late." I suggested. She nodded.

We hurried downstairs and out to my now dented car, now that it was lighter I noticed the dent was quite noticeable.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Remind me to completely annihilate Emmett's game system when we get back home." I said through my teeth

"Umm okay…" she responded and buckled her seatbelt.

-One ride to school later-

When we pulled up to the school a few minutes after I couldn't help but wonder again what the 'surprise' was. Whatever it was it wasn't good. I helped Bella out of the car and together we hurried towards English.

We didn't miss too much, the teacher was just explaining that we were going to read a short story aloud, as a class and we were going to be evaluated on it. I was chosen to be first, at vampire speed I skimmed through the beginning of the story. The story was about a small child in Bosnia who had survived an attack thanks to an…Angel? ignoring Alice's warning I began to read:

_It was sometime in spring, 1909and I was working in my family's field harvesting crops_

_when there were screams of terror coming from the village center. I ran towards the house to ask my mom. I opened the door and stopped dead in my tracks; there were 4 strange men in my house, beating my mother. I turned and ran as fast as I could, hoping they didn't see me. I heard shout coming from behind me. This was not good, not good at all._

I was told to stop there, Jessica was to read next. What was all this about anyways? I read the teachers mind to find out

'I can't wait for the play, no one seems to now that's why I'm doing this, Edward was great, I think he should be lead' I stopped there and hit my head on the desk; joy, I get to in the lead in a play I don't even want to be in.

Only 20 more minutes of class until gym, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to somehow will the time to move by faster. I opened my eyes after what seemed like a long time, 18 more minutes, well that failed miserably. Next thing I knew Bella had to read; I quickly looked to see where we were.

_My legs scraped as the branches clawed at them. The men were shooting their guns at me they hit me 3 times already and there was no use hiding because of that, because my blood marked my trail. I was just a young lad and they were grown, I couldn't outrun them for long. I ran towards a river and jumped in, forgetting I didn't know how to swim. I almost drowned when two strong hands grabbed me and pulled me out. I was shot again, and again until I was sure I would die. The 4 men left and I was drowning in my own blood. Suddenly a blond haired angel showed up, I knew he was an angel because his eyes were gold and the way he moved, so fast, so perfect._

When Bella read 'golden eyes' some people turned to look at me, I quickly looked down. Mike had to read next.

_My eyes were blurred and I was numb all over but I could feel his hands, feeling my body for injuries. Through the blurriness I saw his eyebrows scrunch up when he saw the bullets. So fast I can be sure it actually did happen but he pulled the bullets out with his bare hands because one second he was evaluating them and the next he had 7 bullets in his hand. I was shocked and if I wasn't in so much pain my jaw would have dropped. He carefully picked me up and ran faster then a horse back to the village, where he slowed to a more human pace and brought me to the infirmary where he told me I would miraculously make an almost complete recovery. That was the last I saw of him, but I knew, I had been saved by an angel._

Could that have been? No it couldn't have been, although it seems logical. There had to be more of this story somewhere. I started to search the book we were reading from but the bell rang. 'Now it rings.' I thought bitterly to myself. I walked over to Bella and she had the same lookI did when I heard the description of the so called angel.

"Do you think…?" Bella asked

"It seems logical"

"Wow, I mean I knew Carlisle went around the world studying doctor stuff and I know he saved people but I just can imagine it now that the situations laid out, its just… weird"

"I guess it is for you, so anyways guess why we had to do this nonsense."

"Do I want to know?" she sighed "Why?"

"It was our teacher's clever idea as play auditions." I said with false enthusiasm. Bella's smile quickly changed into a scowl. She crossed her arms,

"That's so unfair, I hate plays."

"Don't we all?" I asked with a sigh, as we walked into our next class.

-Two boring classes I didn't want to write about later-

I was still trying to figure out what the other surprise Alice mentioned was, but she was still blocking her thoughts with silly math problems. I guess I'd have to figure it out like any other human being. Darn, this wasn't fair, I mean Jasper probably knows and I don't. Wait a minute, I could always 'probe' his mind (as he referred to it as) I tried

'_Why did Alice want me to 'protect' my thoughts? It's not like Edwards going to know exactly when I'm going to think about how the play is on- OW! WHO KICKED ME?'_

"WHO JUST KICKED ME?" Jasper practically screamed. Alice giggled

"Oops that was you? Sorry." She said innocently

'Edward stop trying to search peoples minds, it's inconsiderate.' She thought. I growled.

"Alice, stop trying to keep secrets, its inconsiderate." I mimicked. She smiled

"Edward, what's the play on anyway?" Bella asked

"That's the secret Alice is keeping from us all except Jasper." I spat his name bitterly.

"Oh come on Ed, life is much more fun when you don't know everything." Alice said with too much innocence in her voice. I groaned again not bothering to tell her how much I despise being called Ed.

"Anyways she's going to post the lists tomorrow… can't you wait another 24 hors?"

"No" I whined like a young child.

'Well that's too bad then isn't it' she thought smugly. I was going to speak back but Bella spoke first

"OH! The bell's about to ring! Lunch is over! Edward we have to make it to biology before Mr. Banner or he'll give us detention." I quickly helped her up and we hurried –at human pace- to biology.

In biology we were looking at pond water under microscopes, annalizing the micro-organisms so we could pepare for our mid-term essay. I wasn't paying attention though, I couldn't help but wonder about the play. I tried to concentrate but some body's thoughts were too distracting.

'Eww look these things are moving. Eww this is gross' Lauren, of course.

'Bella looks soo hot today' I growled, it was Mike Newton so I accidentally threw my pen… at his head

'OWWW! Why the hell did Cullen do that?' I laughed.

"Oops sorry Mike."

-More classes I don't want to write about-

The bell finally rang, signaling the day was over. When Alice, Jasper, Bella and I were all in the car we left, Alice and Jasper looked like they were close to laughing and tried to hide it but were failing miserably. I didn't even bother to try to read their minds because they were most likely trying to block them with the stupidest methods ever, songs, and math equations, even what to wear.

"Edward?" Bella started "Was I supposed to remind you to umm, how did you put it? Oh right 'annihilate Emmett's game system when we get back home'?" That's right, the dent in my car!

"Yes, thank you"

"Annihilate Emmett's game system?" Alice asked

"You should already know, you have already seen it in a vision or something"

"Oh yea!" she giggled.

When we finally made it home Emmett was out hunting, I decided it was about time to have a little fun with him I helped Bella out of the car then scooped her up and ran to our room.

"Would you like to have some fun today Bella?" I asked with an evil grin on my face, it probably scared her a little, but if it did she didn't show it.

"Sure…" She said hesitantly

"Okay so here's the plan," I whispered it into her ear. Her eyes went wide then we shared the same evil grin. Just then there was a knock on our door.

"Come in Alice" I said knowing it was her, to my surprise both her and Jasper walked in.

"We want in" Jasper said simply. I was going to object but then I realized where they could come in useful.

"I take it you guys already know the plan?"

"Yup, this is going to be great. You guys probably can't wait to see his face, I already have but I can't wait either." Alice said excitingly.

"First of all, we need a screwdriver, glue, a video camera…" I started he list and went through everything…"Oh! And how about some fireworks?"

"Okay let' get to work then" Bella ordered, and that we did.

-One hour of prank setting up later-

"Wow, it's amazing" Bella and Jasper said at the same time, admiring our work

"Got the tape Alice?" I asked

"Oh yeah!"

"Then go, put it were we discussed." I ordered looking back over our contraption, I mean hey, alls fair in love and war and this, is most definintly war.

EmPOV

I got back from hunting and was going to play my favorite game on my game system. I walked inside and noticed it was gone, weird. HEY! Maybe I put it up in my room to protect it from the wrath of Edward.

When I got up to my room I couldn't find it but I noticed a tape on my bed, what the hell is it? I looked at the title written on it;

"Watch me." Hmm never heard of this movie before oh well it might be good, I slipped it in our old VCR player. At first the screen was black then some captions came up.

The Revenge

By EBAJ

Who is EBAJ? Why have I never seen a movie by him… or her?

Then a picture of my beloved game system came up on screen, the camera moved up so it was focused on a face, not just any face but Edwards face.

"Ahh, Emmett, Emmett, Emmett. What am I going to do with you? First you wreck my car then you don't apologize, tsk tsk, I am very ashamed of you. Oh well, no harm to done, we're all at the meadow right now, were going to have a show with your game system… I hope you don't mind. The show will start when you get here, or at least 7:30" the screen went black

I looked at the clock it was 7:19, I've got to get there, I don't want to miss the show.

When I got there Edward, Bella, Alice and Jasper were all standing near a table with a tarp over something lumpy, weird, I wondered what it was.

"Emmett, you've arrived. Just in time too, the shows about to start." Edward said with something in his voice I can't describe.

"So, what's all this about?" I asked him

"You'll see" Alice piped in

"Okay then" I rubbed my hands together "Lets get this show on the road shall we."

When I said that Jasper pulled the tarp off whatever it was and I stared in shock for a second. There was my game system, looking fine but it had permanent marker on it saying 'Sweet Revenge'. I looked up at them in confusion, they were all smiling evilly

"Emmett we've all had enough of you and your gaming shenanigans-" Jasper cut Edward off there

"Actually I like gaming with you but still, you get all out of control sometimes." Edward started again;

"Anyways we wanted to show you how much we dislike it." He gave the scariest grin I've ever seen. Bella pulled out a shiny blue game controller out of her pocket.

"Emmett we just wanted you to know how harmful your gaming is and how it effects us and you someday." She said then gave me the controller. I stood there hesitantly for a minute; they were obviously up to something. Oh well.

"Well go on" Alice suggested. I looked down at the controller; I didn't know how to work it… I looked up confused

"Its new, all you have to do is press a button, any one and it starts the game." Jasper explained

"Oh okay" I said then excitedly pushed the biggest button on it, the red button.

EPOV

"Oh okay." Emmett said excitedly and pushed the big red button, doesn't he know that you NEVER press the red button?

The second his finger was off the button smoke started coming out of his game system.

"WHATS HAPPENING!" he yelled

"Oh, just a little but of revenge, no big deal" I said back calmly "Revenge is sweet ain't it?"

I could tell he was going to do something but then his game system shot up into the air then exploded into an extraordinary light show

"Wow, fire works are great aren't they?" Jasper asked

"Yea'" Alice, Bella and I said at the same time while watching the colors change from blue to green to red. Emmett fell to his knees and whined

"Why, Why?"

"Because you deserve it, that's why." I told him, he whimpered.

When the fireworks were finally over Alice Bella, Jasper and I ran back to our car and left Emmett trying to re-build his completely destroyed game system.

'_Edward I'll get you for this, you just wait' _Emmett thought angrily. Doesn't he know that it's not right to get revenge for revenge?

"Did you see his face when it flew up into the air?" Bella exclaimed

"I told you it would be worth it. I'm glad I got to see it twice." Alice bragged.

"Yea yea, we know Alice. Stop bragging already" Jasper said to her. Wow I think that was the first time I've seen him tell her to stop bragging about being physic.

'_I can't believe he practically told me to shut up!' _Alice thought

'_I can't believe I practically told her to shut up!'_ Jasper thought at almost exactly the same time.

"Jasper, how could you say that to me? I'm your wife." Alice said, shocked.

"I know but I'm-I'm sorry. Please forgive me Alice I didn't mean it." Jasper begged. Alice raised her eyebrows; I could tell she was going to think about some things.

'_Edwards you'd better not be in mine or Jazz's mind right now. Remember I can think some things you probably wouldn't appreciate too much.'_

"Fine, I'm out, I'm out."

It was a quiet drive home I guess Alice and Jasper made up because she sighed then laid her head on Jaspers arm, not quite reaching his shoulder.

We only had to stop once on the way home, Bella had missed dinner helping us prepare so I bought her some food, although she was being unnecessarily stubborn about me paying I eventually got her to give in.

"You know, I could have paid… I brought money" Bella told me

"I know" I said with a smile

"You still should have let me paid…" she grumbled them muttered something unintelligible.

"So you know he's going to try to get you back right?" Alice said

"Yup, I figured that. His thoughts were murderous when we left." I said with a grin "Out of curiosity what is he going to do Alice?"

"He's not exactly sure yet but I'll let you know what to watch out for when he figures it out."

"Thanks I appreciate it"

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay well I'm done… how about we try to get home before Emmett." Bella said

"He's already home." Alice told Bella "It doesn't matter anyway; he's not doing anything tonight."

"Well I'm tired so let's still go back… I'm sure Charlie is probably a little worried by now."

"Good morning Bella" I said once she started to stir

"Mmph"

"Come on, we have school today… I'll be back I have to get ready too" with that I kissed her on the cheek and jumped out the window.

When I came back she was at the table eating what she called food… it looked more like paste and cement.

"Good morning Bella" I said cheerfully

"Hey Edward"

"So are you ready to see what this stupid play is about?"

"I could care less… but since you seem so eager let's go before you explode" what is she talking about?

"Bella, you know that it is nearly impossible for me to explode." I said trying to change the subject. She sighed,

"Okay well let's go before you die of curiosity."

"Bella…" I started

"You know what I mean, no need to get a technical."

When we got to school there was 3 bright red pieces of paper, I hurried over to them a read the title

Dracula's Revenge

I heard Bella's voice from behind me.

"Oh, the irony"

**Well that's all. Should I make this a two of three shot? Please review and let me know what you think…. Flames are VERY welcome. All flames will be used to burn raynabow's crappy things she calls books (told you I'd get you back!)**

**Anyways check out her story 'Poison love' it's pretty good :p**

**okay so imma try to edit the other chapter soon too and i have another option up for my next story im going towrite after this, check it out in authors note 3 or 4**

**Please review :)**


	2. oh, the irony chapter 2

**Hello everyone, I'm sorry I haven't updated either of my stories for a while its just I went on a camping trip last weekend and I graduated and June 25. And then again there is also the issue of actually writing the chapters :p. I think you all should know that Princess Twilight is temporarily on hold because, well it's kinda boring. (If someone would want to continue it for me let me know and we'll work something out)**

**Sorry if this chapter kinda sucks or babbles on and stuff because I'm really sick and every time I went to save it deleted so this is the third time I had to write it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse copyright. I also don't own Burnout revenge, Halo 3, DDR, Oblivion or Super Smash Bro's.**

**For the cast thingy I'm just going to make up random students just so you know.**

**there now both chapters are sortof edited :) **

**Please enjoy this one-two shot :) (p.s. please enjoy this super-de-duper long chapter)**

EPOV

I heard Bella's voice from behind me.

"Oh, the irony"

Of all the plays they could have picked, of all they plays I accidentally auditioned for, of all the plays I almost get the lead for… it had to be Dracula's Revenge.

"Whoa this is very ironic I mean for one thing its Dracula and secondly its revenge like what Emmett is trying to get on you…why can't I talk normally today? My words aren't making sense" Bella said confusedly.

"Well that's okay, it happens. So let's see who made the first cut shall we?" she nodded her head. I wonder who Bella and I would be; surely someone bearable.

First cut

Kimmy Jones- Isabella Swan, Lauren Mallory

Maxwell Jones- Tyler Crowley, Mike Newton

Angry Villagers:

#1- Jasper Hale

#2- Alice Cullen

#3- Jessica Stanly

#4- Eric Yorkie

Police:

#1- Rayna Jenson

#2- Zäh Tiertrupp

Jane Smith- Roxi Harth, Angela Webber

Doctor Eustace- Ian Narger, Stephan Waller

Paranormal scientists:

Todd- Benjamin Dover, Matthew Damon

Tiffany- Shelly Clarke, Dani Silver

Dracula- Edward Cullen, J-- **(Smudge)**

I stopped reading there; it figures I get nominated for Dracula. I definitely need to listen to Alice more often because then I might have gotten lucky and gotten picked to be an angry villager.

"I wonder who the other Dracula nominee is. Do you know?" Bella asked

"No I don't, probably a sophomore or somebody new. Hopefully they're better than I am so they'll get the part and I wont." I told her, life was most definitely going to be interesting from now on.

"Someone being better then you? At anything? Impossible Edward." I knew that this was probably true, acting was natural for me, wait, but if I tried to be horrible, well then, no more play.

"Actually I bet that he could be better then me if I tried to be bad…" I let my voice trial off

"Good idea but what if I get a part in the play and then I'll be all alone." She pouted a little bit

"I'd still show up to all your practices and I'd sit in the first row for the actual production." I tried to assure her, she looked a little better but still uneasy. I was about to say something else but Alice decided now would be the perfect time to interrupt.

"So Edward you probably should have listened to me don't you think? Oh well maybe if you… do you want... uhh go see who the other Dracula nominee is." Alice stuttered 'I don't think you want to get the part more than he wants it'

"I don't think that's possible, most people enjoy plays"

"Trust me Edward, he likes plays but probably would rather be an angry villager or something. It's just not natural for him to be a vampire." Who could that be? I ran through all the possibilities but I couldn't think of anybody.

"Well are you going to tell me or make me find the other list?"

"You have eyes" at this Bella giggled, I rolled my eyes, it wasn't that funny.

"Okay fine I'll go find the list. Bella, do you want to stay here or come with me?"

"Umm I'll stay here, I want to talk to Alice." She said sheepishly, I nodded and left.

As I walked down the halls I heard many people talking about the play, a few even talking about me being nominated for Dracula and about how they think I fit the part, all the more reason for me to not get the part because I might just play the part too well and draw more attention to us. I should have asked Alice where the other lists were; now I have to wander around like I'm lost. After about 10 minutes of wandering I looked down at my watch, I had 5 minutes until my first class; I guess I'll find it at recess. As I was walking towards English I noticed the 3 bright red pieces of paper, funny how you find things once you stop looking. My eyes scanned the list, hoping there wasn't a smudge on this one too; finally I found what I was looking for. 'Surely I must be seeing things, maybe it's a typo, this can't be true.' I couldn't believe it; these weren't even my thoughts, the bitter deep voice could only belong to one person.

Jacob Black. Suddenly Alice's words made sense, who would hate to act like a phony vampire more then a real one? A werewolf. I know I wouldn't like to have to act like a dog. Although if I think about it, it would be really funny to see him try to act like a vampire. I smiled, this could be fun.

'So Edward did you finally find the lists?' it was Alice, I turned around and she was right behind me.

"You could have spoken you know and yes I did find the list," I smiled then something dawned on me "Where's Bella?"

"Oh she's talking to Jacob over by the gym."

"You left her alone, with the dog? Alice! You know better!" I fumed "Remember last time she was alone with him? He kissed her!"

"Oh calm down Edward, its harmless, they're talking about the play." I smirked, I could just imagine the conversation now, wait I don't need to, I can read his mind.

'Hey Jake, I haven't talked to you in a while.'

'I know it seems like forever since we last talked, so is there a reason you wanted to talk to me?'

'Well actually yes, do you know who the second nominee for the part of Dracula is?' This was definitely the last thing I want to answer, how should I tell her? For some reason I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and I sighed.

"Yes Bella I do," I inhaled deeply "Bella the second nominee is, well, me." I closed my eyes and waited for her response but she didn't say anything instead I heard a thump. I opened my eyes and I couldn't see her, I looked around and found her, on her knee's, face twisted like she was trying to stop herself from laughing but she couldn't hold it any more she laughed hysterically.

Okay well I approve of her reaction. I chuckled to myself and told Alice I'd see her at lunch then made my way towards English. When I finally got to class I was relieve to see Bella was already there and the teacher wasn't. I took my usual seat next to her; she looked like she was still laughing.

"I take it you know that Jacob's going to be Dracula." She nodded "I just hope you realize that I will skip school if I have to just to make him play the part." I grinned. She was probably going to say something but the bell rang and the teacher ran in.

"Good morning class! I take it all of you have seen the lists, if not please raise your hand now." No one did "Okay then, that means that you all should have noticed that it includes students of all ages and there are more then one person for some of the parts that's what makes if fun the two people nominated will have an ACT-OFF! Isn't that great!" she smiled so largely it looked like her face was going to possibly rip. "The first act off will be for the parts of Kimmy Jones and Maxwell Jones, actor from this class that needs to be there is Isabella Swan. Isabella please meet me at the auditorium tomorrow at 12:30 sharp, the audition should only last about 20 minutes. On another note, today were just going to be doing some review worksheets, if you feel the need you can work with a partner but if the conversation is not related to English you're going to have to work alone, got it?" there were a few people nodding their heads and everyone else just kind of grumbled.

"So do you want me to go with you to the 'Act Off'?" I asked Bella quietly

"I wouldn't go without you."

"Edward Cullen may I please speak to you?" the teacher called from her desk.

"I'll be right back Bella" I said as I got up. I wonder what the teacher wanted.

"Edward, I've been told that you have a very wide range of music, is that true?" what was she getting to?

"Yes, You are correct." 'wow did he grow up in the 1900's or something?' i stiffled a laugh

"Okay that's good; we need someone to supply music for the play." She paused for a second "and I was hoping you would be willing…" she let her voice trail off

"I guess I could, what do you need?" 'I can't believe he said yes! Wait what do we need? Hmm…oh intense, romantic, classic, horror…'

"Okay we need; Intensifying, romantic, death, classical, horror, dramatic, mysterious and I think that's about it" I nodded, I think I have all of that, well classical for sure I'll have to check, I don't know if I have any horror…

"I'll see what I can do."

"Wonderful can you please bring them on Tuesday?" I nodded again and walked back to my seat

"What did she want?" Bella asked curiously

"Just if I could supply music for the play, I said yes but I don't know if I have any horror music."

"If you want horrible music take Charlie's he's got more than enough." I laughed

"Oh Bella, Charlie's music can't be that bad," her eyebrows went up as if to say 'oh yea?'

"Edward, he listens to the backstreet boys and if that's not enough he's over 40 years old! Edward, he blasts it as loud as the stereo can go, why do you think sometimes I'm so desperate to get to your house."

"I though you came to see me." I said feighning hurt. Her face dropped.

"Of course I want to see you, that why I choose your house above everywhere else, Edward I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that…" she said with worry and apology ringing through her voice

"Oh Bella I know your sorry, next time just watch out for the false hurt in my voice." Her eyes narrowed, I could tell she was thinking about hitting me.

"Bella if you hit me you'll only hurt you hand." She stuck her tongue out at me and I just smiled, she's so cute when she's childish. Just then the bell rang, off to our next class, I helped Bella up and we left.

-Meanwhile back at the house-

EmPOV

Hmm how can I get revenge on Eddie… this is boooorrrriiiinnnngggg. Maybe I could… noo, not good enough. OH! Maybe… nah still not good enough. Hmm how about, oh that's evil, heinous even, just like Edward. This is perfect –insert evil laughter here- now, where's the c.d. burner?

EPOV

Lunch, the one time of day where cliques, friends and family can spend time together… and discuss what a certain psychic sister has seen a certain revengeful brother do to well, get revenge on me.

"He's finally realized that I can see what he decides to do, in other words he keeps changing his mind so I can't see what he's actually going to do." I felt my eyebrows scrunch together.

"What have you seen?" Bella asked curiously

"I saw his car pink, his c.d.'s burned, hiding his car keys, hiding a mouse in his piano, painting his piano, scratching his piano, lets just say a lot of thing, most including his piano and/or car"

"Oh, he's not that creative is he?" Bella asked. I smiled, her and her questions

"Actually he is, very creative but he's just trying to keep Alice from figuring out his plan and ruining it." Jasper explained "He's not as dumb as he seems, okay maybe he is but sometimes he gets good ideas." We all smiled at this because we knew it was the truth. I looked at the clock we had about 3 minutes until biology.

"Bella we have only have a few minutes to get to biology I think we should get going."

"Okay" she grabbed her tray and brought it over to the garbage where she dumped it out. When she walked back over to me I grabbed her hand and we made our way to biology.

"Okay class, we are having a test tomorrow on what we saw in those samples of pond water, you must include the scientific names and purposes of the bacteria and other specimens. You can use the period to look at the samples again or study the purposes of what you saw. It will be a quieter lesson but you may talk to your partners but only about the work I have provided you with. Now microscopes and pond water samples are at the back near the sink; go ahead and start your work." Said Mr. Banner in what seemed like one breath. As soon as he stopped talking the class started talking, clearly not about the pond water, within minutes the class was really loud.

"Alright, you clearly cannot handle the privilege of talking while working so class will be silent." The class moaned but got to work. I did the same but a piece of paper was slid into my line of view. On it Bella had written

What do you think Emmett going to do?

I read it and wrote back

_I really don't know, I wish I did_

I slid it back to her.

In a way I can't wait until he does get his revenge on you, I want to see what he does

_I don't because I know it's going to be disastrous. You've never seen Emmett when he wants to get revenge_

What's he like?

_He's always both really dark and moody or overly happy. Either way he scares us all even Esme._

That sounds horrible

_It gets worse, the revenge is always way worse then anyone expects, so I always have to expect the worst and now I fear for the lives of my piano and car._

Aww I don't think he'll do anything that drastic

_Trust me he's done worse… way worse_

Care to share?

_If you want, okay so he had gotten his first car, a red 1940 Chevy deluxe, Alice and I decided it would be fun to, I guess you could say 'initiate' him by painting things on his car. When he got back from hunting and saw it he threw our couch out the window and yelled for a while but we thought he was done. He wasn't. While we were all hunting (minus him) he filled our shampoos with hair dye (mine was indigo and Alice's was gray) then ruined half of Alice's wardrobe and my c.d.'s. We then learned that he doesn't take that kind of thing so easily so we tend to have reasons before we do something to him._ :o)

Wow, that's harsh, on both your parts. How did you ever get the hair dye out? Was it temporary or…?

_It was permanent but all things eventually fade, get bleached by the sun, wash out, ect. I waited it out but Alice, well was Alice and died overtop of it. I learned something that day though._

What? Never make Emmett mad?

_Nope, that they make gray hair dye :p_

Lmao I didn't know that either. :o)

The bell rang; two more classes until the end of the day, which just happens to be the end of the week.

-Let's skip to the end of the day shall we?-

RRRIIINNNGGG! The bell signaled the end of the day. By the time Bella and I got to my car Alice and Jasper were already there. Alice turned to me looking slightly worried.

"Edward! I think I've seen what Emmett wants to try to do." Alice said excitedly

"Well what's he-"she cut me off

"I'm not sure all I saw was him looking at your car… with a phone to his ear" I sighed

"Alice he could have been doing anything, what makes you think this is revenge?"

"Well the fact that when he finished dialing the phone he said, oh just watch the vision yourself"

_There is Emmett. Standing on our driveway, looking at my car. He pulled out his cell phone and dials._

"_Hello? Is this Mr. uh Monsta? Producer of Monsta Mash Monster Truck Righteous Road Rally? Otherwise known as MMMTRRR"_

"_Okay great, can I ask a favor of you?"_

"So what are you saying Alice?"

"I don't know, just that he's going to do something possibly with you car."

"Wow, Alice I never would have guessed." I said sarcastically

"Well I thought you would have appreciated it, no need to go all Mr. Grumpy-pants on us."

"Who the hell are you calling Mr. Grumpy-pants? So I'm not allowed to get a little worried about the life of my car?! Now shut up and drive!" Bella gave me a funny look.

"Edward, 3 things. 1, calm down a little. 2, it's your car, so you should be driving and 3, please don't repeat lines from girlie songs, its creepy." Okay a little harsh. I pouted a little but got in the drivers seat and said nothing what-so-ever on the way home.

"Alice? When is your vision supposed to happen?" I heard Jasper ask

"Tomorrow, at about 3:30" then she added "But Edward probably already knew that" she scoffed. The steering wheel crunched under my hands a little bit and when I let go powder fell onto my lap. I saw Bella gaping at me from the corner of my eye.

"Alice just stop, he was right though, you were stating the obvious. I know you were just trying to be helpful but i'm pretty sure its obvious Emmett's doing something with the car." Bella told Alice. She snorted but didn't say anything.

When we got back home everything was quiet, almost too quiet.

"Watch out, Emmett's trying to be inconspicuous by playing his new game system." I nodded in thanks.

"I just hope there is no need to destroy this one." Bella whispered and I chuckled.

"Oh trust me Bella give him a week before we need to destroy/hide this one." I whispered back

"Are you serious? How many have you destroyed?"

"We've destroyed about 11 in that past 3 months, that doesn't include the ones he's broken or we've hidden." I smiled evilly "I still don't understand why he doesn't look in the laundry room, we have like 8 of them in there" this time it was her turn to laugh I couldn't help but laugh with her. I hadn't realized it but we had made our way up to my room and were now sitting on my bed laughing.

"So what music do you think you're going to bring on Tuesday?" Bella asked, putting an end to our laughing.

"For romantic I'm thinking 'passage into midnight' by Omar Akram or 'Valse Romantique' by Debussy, for classical I'm thinking Beethoven's 7th symphony, for dramatic Beethoven's 5th symphony and I still don't own any intense, death or horror music."

"Charlie's music is still up for grabs" Bella said jokingly. I smiled.

"Silly Bella, Charlie likes his horrifying music." At this she laughed so hard she fell of the bed. I quickly pulled her back up and for some reason I was surprised to see her still laughing and when her stomach growled that set off a whole new round of laughter. "I think we should probably get you something to eat, what are you in the mood for?"

"I'm fine, I'm not that hungry," her stomach growled again. I smiled accusingly "fine, I'll have a bowl of cereal if that's alright." My nose crinkled

"Bella, why do you like it? It looks like paste and cement. Wouldn't you like something else? Like a sandwich or pizza or something?"

"Edward, it might look like that but it sures heck doesn't taste like it, it's all sweet and tasty. And I'll stick with it thank you very much." She went over to the cupboard and grabbed the cereal, a bowl and a spoon then she walked to the fridge and took the milk. She came back to me, poured her cereal and took a big bite just to prove her point. I rolled my eyes; she could be almost as childish as Emmett sometimes.

'Edward, I just had another clip of a vision, I saw Emmett with your c.d.'s so watch out.' Alice warned

"Thanks Alice!" I shouted even though it wasn't necessary. Bella raised an eyebrow but the realized what just happened and nodded.

"So Edward, what are our plans for our Friday night spectacular?" Bella asked with a smile

"Friday night spectacular? What makes this Friday so special?" I asked back quizzingly

"Umm I don't know, how 'bout we play a game?"

"Like what?" Emmett said as he entered the room

"I don't know… oh you bought a new game system right?" Emmett growled a yes and glared at me.

"Well what games did you buy?" Bella asked him, this perked him up.

"OH! I bought a racing game called burnout revenge, a shooting game called halo 3, a dancing game called dance dance revolution, a mission quest game called oblivion and a fighting game called super smash bro's." he said excitedly.

"Hey I like those games; we should have a tournament with either dance dance, super smash bro's or burnout. Either one you pick I will place top 3" Bella said confidently. Emmett rolled his eyes

"Good luck with that, no one beats the Emmett"

"I did" Jasper smiled as Emmett growled 'so what's going on? Gaming competition?' I nodded

'So who's included? Emmett, me, maybe you…'

"Bella and maybe Alice" I told him 'hey, I'm defiantly in' Alice's thoughts shouted. "Alice is in."

"So what game?" Bella asked

"You can chose considering you've got the disadvantage." Emmett told her. I do not like the smile that slowly spread across her face.

"Okay." She was really starting to scare me now "We'll play Halo."

"Yay!" Emmett squealed. "Let's go set it up, I call first player!!"

"Okay, I'll be third" Bella said

"Why third?" Jasper asked

"IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH WANTING TO BE THIRD PLAYER?!" **(Lmao Briawna)**Jasper cowered a little then realized that he could calm her down "Didn't think so."

"It's all set up, Bella take this controller, its third player" Emmett said, Bella smiled sweetly

"Thanks Emmett" then she looked at up all gaping at her sudden change of mood "Well are you guys going to play or just stand there?" Jasper and Alice each grabbed a controller.

"Sorry Edward only four controllers, you can play next round." Emmett said, not sounding very apologetic.

Seconds after the game began Emmett began shouting things, alot like this;

"No! Not that gun the other one! The one with the thingy! NO NOT THAT THINGY THE OTHER ONE! GRAWR! You made me lose!"

"HEY THAT'S NO FAIR! YOU SHOT ME WHEN I WAS GOING TO SHOOT YOU!"

Then of course thiers everyone else...

"Damnit! I just got sniped!"-Jasper

"NOO, RUN AWAY!"-Alice

"MWHAHAHA I just PWN'D you all!"-Bella, she was defiantly starting to scare me. Maybe a nice doctor…. I looked over at the scores, wow Bella's really doing well that this game,

Bella-24

Emmett-16

Jasper-15

Alice-12

After a long night of gaming, the final scores were like this;

Halo:

Bella

Emmett

Me

Jasper

Alice

Dance Dance:

Alice and Emmett and Jasper and Me

Bella

Super Smash Bro's:

Emmett

Bella

Jasper

Me

Alice

Burnout Revenge:

Bella and Emmett tied

Me

Jasper

Bella kept demanding a rematch in Super Smash Bro's but I convinced her it was time for bed.

"Bella you can play again tomorrow, after a good night sleep you might even be better" I told her, she was probably going to protest but she fell asleep as soon as I laid her on the bed. Once she was secure under the thick quilt I snuck out of the room and hurried downstairs, where I found Emmett playing his new game Oblivion. I sat down and watched patiently for him to notice me… he didn't until I addressed him.

"Emmett?"

"What can I do ya for?"

"What's going on?" I asked simply

"I have no idea what you're talking about, go back to Bella."

"Emmett, you're not the kind of person who stops holding a grudge, remember the hair dye?" at this he smiled and remembered

"Yea…" he quickly shook his head "I've changed… you were right though. It is wrong to get revenge for revenge." Then he shrugged and continued playing his game

"I know what your doing! You're trying to make me put my guard down… IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!" my eye twitched

"Edward, I think you need a nice doctor and a soft cushy room…" Alice suggested

"ARE YOU CALLING ME CRAZY?!" I ran up the stairs, the whole time shouting ".! You'll see, YOU'LL ALL SEE!" when I got to the room Bella was sitting up in her bead, rubbing her eyes. Okay maybe I got a little out of hand… but I knew Emmett was going to do something, not to mention he keeps blocking his thoughts.

"Edward, what's with all the shouting? Its kinda scaring me, has Emmett finally lost it?"

'Yea Ed, have I finally lost it?' Emmett's thoughts asked. I ignored him and opened my mouth to say yes but Alice popped her head in the doorway first

"Nope that was Edward, he's gone off the deep-end and he's far from land." She laughed; I was after her before Bella could respond.

BPOV

"…IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!" I heard someone scream, waking me from my sleep. "ARE YOU CALLING ME CRAZY?!" probably Emmett, because he was the most likely to be doing something like this and- ".!... YOU'LL ALL SEE!" yea that does kinda sound like Emmett… just then Edward came in the room. I didn't know what was going on so I asked him

"Edward, what's with all the shouting? Its kinda scaring me, has Emmett finally lost it?" I saw him think for a minute then scowl slightly. His head darted towards the door; I followed his gaze to find Alice.

"Nope, that was Edward, he's gone off the deep end and he's far from land." She laughed; Edward was up and chasing her before I could respond. I heard her scream 'I'm going to win' as he chased her up and down the yard, this only caused him to speed up and shout things that shocked me, mainly because he didn't seem like the right kind of person to do extensive cursing. Throughout his stream of profanities I could hear him yelling things like 'I am not crazy' 'just because I'm probably a little paranoid doesn't mean he's not out to get me' I heard Alice laugh and tell him that she hasn't seen Emmett do anything. He sped up again; by now I could barely see them, but I saw Alice stop and Edward speed right past her. She turned and began running toward the house. Then Edward stopped and stood there for a minute, trying to figure out what had happened before, either figuring it out or just deciding to figure it out later and catch Alice. I saw Alice disappear into the house from the doorway just under our room, I braced myself for when they came charging in.

Alice was first, she came in scream-laughing she made it right beside me before Edward caught up and crashed through the door. His eyes murderous

"Edward" I screamed "is all of this necessary? All she did was say you went a little crazy," his eye twitched "frankly I think she's right! You are crazy! I mean you just chased her a good 2.5 miles, just because she cause she called you CRAZY!" he twitched again but cowered like Jasper had. "I'm going to go to sleep now, when I wake up you'd better not be like this."

EPOV

"I'm going to go to sleep now, when I wake up you'd better not be like this" I nodded then helped her into bed. I was going to sit down next to her but she shot up, "Edward, you are forbidden to be in this room until you think about what you've done" she tried to hold back laughs now "I mean it though, now get out!" she ordered as I sighed and started walking towards the door I heard her say "I love you, I really really do. Just you scared me today, it's not like you to be crazy…that's Emmett's job." So now she's scared I smiled.

"Okay, I'm leaving, and Bella?" she looked at me "I love you too." She smiled "Have a good sleep, if you need me I'll be downstairs thinking about what I've done" we both laughed and I left. Right about now was when I wished I could read her mind most, did I really scare her or was it just an expression. I sat down on the couch in the living room thinking about it.

After an hour of thinking about 'what I've done' I couldn't help but let my minds ear listen.

'MWHAHAHAHAHAHA, this is ingenious! Edwards going to pay for what he did, wait! I'm supposed to be blocking my thoughts so Edward can't hear. BLOCKING BLOCKING BLOCKING BLOCKING, no I need to be inconspicuous. Ohh look at the pretty butterfly, wait that's a hornet! RUN AWAY!' I laughed; doesn't he know that a hornet can't hurt him? At that moment Emmett came running through the living room screaming 'It's going to kill me' and swatting in every direction. Idiot.

**Okay, horrible timing I know but this is 24 pages in word and what I have planned will take a little while to write (space wise). Sorry it took so long for the update, as I tried to explain at the top I graduated, went on a camping trip, I've been really tired (stupid insomnia caught up with me) and half way through the chapter I got writers block.**

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and PM'd me I appreciate it; it gives me a bigger motivation to write.**

**Please review :)**


	3. oh, the irony AUTHORS NOTE!

**i will continue planning and writing stories in my notebook but i need to know one thing, after 'Oh the irony' what shorter story would you like my to focus on next?**

**'We need WHAT!?'**

**plot: as a punishment the cullen kids have to get jobs. But what happens when when the jobs are randomly drawn? sheer disaster.**

**'A tale to tell'**

**plot: Jasper makes Edward mad and Edward tell Bella about Jasper's most embarrassing moment. Warning may contain muzzles, barbies, fireworks and nonsense**

**'Bored'**

**plot: They got bored and so did i, but unlike me they didn't stare at the celing for hours. Read this totally boring (kidding) stpry about what he cullens do when hey get bored. warning! includes scenes that may not make sense**

**'Random sayings, phrases and other nonsense'**

**plot: i think the name says it all. there will be skits, sayings, and random other things. great for laughs! (already posted, check out Randomess the story!)**

**The mystical cullen online diaries**

**Plot: what if the Cullens all kept online? What if they all had things to write in them? What if... oh i dunno...**

**Vote in my poll!**

**warning in ALL of my stories the charactors are OOC  
**


	4. oh, the irony chapter 3

**Hey peoples!**

**What did everyone think of the Twilight movie? (If you've seen it) personally I thought it was okay but it could have been much better and I think they cut out to much but that's just my opinion...**

**One last thing, this will be a long-ish chapter so yea... enjoy**

**p.s. there are some slight suggestive themes in this. just a heads up**

**Disclaimer: Does it ****LOOK**** like I own any of it?**

**Okay on with the show :)**

Recap: 'MWHAHAHAHAHAHA, this is ingenious! Edwards going to pay for what he did, wait! I'm supposed to be blocking my thoughts so Edward can't hear. BLOCKING BLOCKING BLOCKING BLOCKING, no I need to be inconspicuous. Ohh look at the pretty butterfly, wait that's a hornet! RUN AWAY!' I laughed; doesn't he know that a hornet can't hurt him? At that moment Emmett came running through the living room screaming 'It's going to kill me' and swatting in every direction. Idiot.

EPOV

How did I ever survive the nights without Bella? I mean, this is so boring. If it was possible I definitely would be asleep right now. The only thing to do is listen to Emmett's mind numbing thoughts, which may have been a mistake, I'm positive I lost a few brain cells just listening for 10 minutes.

With nothing to do I decided to see if I could just peek at Bella, just to make sure she was okay. I kept telling myself it was okay all the way up the stairs but I was told otherwise when I gleefully pounced up the stairs and saw Alice giving me an angry disapproving glare which cause me to slowly start walking down the stairs backward until she was out of my sight.

"-And that's exactly what I plan to do" I heard Emmett tell someone, Carlisle? No he wouldn't tell him, oh it's probably Rosalie. I had no clue what to do, he was gathering re-enforcements.

"Okay I can do that" Rosalie said seductively, wait what? Why? OOOHH.... Ew.

"Emmett can you stop imagining parts of Rosalie that I _really_ do _not_ need to see" he just laughed and said

"if you don't like, stay out of my head"

and so, for the next three hours I tried to get that burning image out of my head. I was starting to consider rubbing soap in my eyes by the time Alice skipped down the stairs and announced that Bella had 'un-banned' me from _my _room. Finally, I thought as I bounded back up the stairs. when I got to my bedroom I noticed, once again, like a few days ago, she was waiting for me on the bed.

I opened my mouth to say something but she held up her hand and started talking

"Edward, I'm sorry. I was just kinda scared and-" I interrupted her by pressing my lips to hers and I whispered

"It's okay"

EMPOV

I am so bored; Alice rejected the last 9 of my idea's OH I KNOW!! I sat around and waited for Alice to reject it like she had all the others but shockingly she didn't. Instead she skipped down the stairs

"Emmett that's a great idea! I'll go get everyone, you have to make room in the living room" she said as she started running back up the stairs. I will never understand her, I thought as I started moving furniture around.

EPOV

Alice bounded into my room

"Emmett wants to play a game" she said cheerfully, I rolled my eyes

"Don't worry, it's not _that_ game." she assured me

"Fine, but if I think it poses as a threat towards Bella we're leaving"

"Whatever, just go to the living room."

"Oh come on Edward" Bella said excitedly "This could be fun"

EMPOV

Within minutes the living room was completely full, everyone - apart from Esme and Carlisle who refused to take part in our games since last time - was here, even Edward, perfect.

"So what, exactly are we playing?" Edward asked impatiently.

"Truth, or Dare" I said watching his face fall while everyone else's rose in excitement.

"I haven't played that since I was really little" Bella told Edward "Can we please stay and play it?" she said trying to make him agree

"Fine, we'll play as long as it stays controlled and Bella doesn't have to do anything absurd" he said, exasperated.

"Dibs on going first!" I called "Kay, Alice. Truth or dare?" I asked, careful not to make my decision.

"Dare." She said confidently. Boy, she had no idea of what she was getting herself into.

"Ok," I said grinning "Alice, I dare you to... eat Jasper's cooking" Everyone started laughing so hard Bella looked frightened

"Is that bad?" she asked curiously, I just nodded my head. "Oh" she mouthed

"Jasper please just don't try to make baked potatoes again..." she said, her voice trailing off, remembering last time.

BPOV

At that moment Jasper looked so sad so I walked over to him and said

"your cooking can't be that bad after all who would know? It's not like anyone who has actually eaten human food has tried it so..."

"Are you offering to try it?" He asked excitedly, I looked over at Edward and he just slightly shook his head no.

"Yes" I told him, hey vampires are good at everything, how bad can he be at cooking? His eyes lit up as he uncharacteristically hugged me briefly then hurried over to the kitchen and closed the door. As soon as he did, Edward appeared at my side and grabbed my arms.

"Bella this isn't the best idea. Jasper can't cook." He said firmly

"At all?" I asked, gulping

"Not at all"

"I-I have to, I already promised him" Edward opened his mouth to say something but Emmett came over

"Bella," he said in that big brother tone before snickering "I feel _so _bad for you" I just rolled my eyes and went into the kitchen and was shocked to what I saw.

"Jasper? Is everything okay?" I asked, his head whipped around and he had some sort of unreadable expression on his face

"No, everything is not okay. I don't want to do this, Alice is gonna get sick again I just know it."

"Well that's probably because your vampires and your bodies' aren't made to consume human food. But mine is and I bet you cooking is not nearly as bad as they think."

"Thanks Bella" he said turning back to an overflowing pot and threw some things -vegetables? – in.

"Bella? There you are" Edwards's voice was relieved

"Where else would I be?" I asked confused. He just stared at me, his eyes liquid gold at that moment everything was perfect, we completely forgot about everyone else, like we were in our own little world deep in each other's eyes. I sighed in content, this was another thing I liked about being with vampires, everything could get dead silent (no pun intended).

"Jasper!" Emmett shouted "You have 20 minutes!" all I heard after that was Jasper groan then let out a stream of profanities.

"Bella? Do you want me to go buy some Pepto Bismall?" Edward asked with concern filling his voice.

"You guys have to give Jasper more credit; he's probably not that bad of a cook. You may only think so because you're vampires and _all _human food tastes horrible to you. Anyways at worst all it will do is give me poisoning and then all I'll do is throw up. No big deal!" I lectured and stomped back into the kitchen.

"So what are you making?" I asked Jasper.

"Uhh, I'm not exactly sure. I _think _I made beef chilli."

"Mmm well it smells great" I told him truthfully

"Really?" he asked with disbelief.

"Yup." He smiled, flashing his perfectly white teeth at me "Do you want me to go get everyone else?" I asked

"Um, sure." I could feel him accidentally sending his nervousness around the room

I really think there was a point to coming to get a house full of vampires who could surely here everything I said in the kitchen.

"Umm, Alice... Jasper's ready for us to eat" I think I heard a slight gag and booming laughter from Emmett and Edward. "Shut up guys!" I yelled up the stairs

When we were all in the kitchen –Alice and I sitting at the table- Jasper placed small –insanely small- bowls in front of us and looked sheepishly at Alice.

"Okay Bella" Alice said nervously "You first" I rolled my eyes and looked into my bowl. I saw beans, meat, ALOT of meat, onions carrots and something else that I had no idea what it was. Edward looked sick, I just glared at him when he barely stopped himself from swatting the spoon from my hands and I took a big bite. It wasn't half bad but the meat was very dry...

Edward was biting his lip now and Alice took her first bite and looked utterly disgusted.

"Bella? Are you okay?" he asked tentatively

"No Edward, I am not okay" I started, Jaspers face fell "I am better than okay, I am great, this chilli is amazing! Just one question for Jasper, why is the meat so dry" he froze

"Uhh, well it was _very _fresh when I got it..."

"Jasper!" Edward yelled "How could you!?!?!?!?"

"I, uhh.." he stuttered

"What did he do?" I yelled with curiosity bubbling in my voice

"Bella, I'm sorry, I-just..." Edward cut him off

"He sucked it dry" Jasper looked really ashamed of himself

"Did he..." I asked my, voice trailing off

"No, I cut that part off. I know that could have ended badly so..."

"Thanks for thinking of me Jasper" I smiled at him knowing it was probably really hard to resist. He turned to Alice who looked paler then usual

"Alice? Are you gonna be alright?" he asked with concern saturating his voice she just slowly shook her head, got up from the table and dashed upstairs-probably to the bathroom. I looked at Jasper

"It's not your fault Jasper, it's just the way you guys are, it has nothing to do with your cooking" I smiled softly at him. I hadn't noticed everyone had left then room until I heard Emmett yell to Alice

"Alice, can you stop puking your guts out long enough to keep playing, it's your turn!"

"bleargh" she said and came down the stairs in a sort of dizzy fashion, "Okay, Edward, truth or dare?" he looked thoughtful for a minute before confidently saying

"Dare."

"Okay, family conference, everyone but Edward, get your butts in the kitchen I need to talk to you."

"You can't do that!" Edward complained

"There were never any rules against it so burn" she said and stalked to the other room still a little angry about having to eat I guess.

Once we were all in the other room alice started by telling Jasper to guard the door.

"Okay, I'm not telling you what I'm gonna do but what are some of the girliest/ stupidest songs you can think of?" she whispered quietly.

"Oh I know!" Emmett shouted then quickly lowered his voice to a quiet whisper "How about-"...

EPOV

Damn, I wonder what they're doing. The suspense is killing me...

"Oh I know!" I heard Emmett yell, I leaned slightly toward the door hoping to hear what he was saying but he lowered his voice so I couldn't hear.

After about 10 minutes they all finally emerged from the kitchen, Alice and Emmett wearing matching smiles. I gulped, this was very bad.

"Okay Edward, your dare is to sing. But we get to pick the songs." She smirked. She can't! I can't sing in front of Bella! But I can't back out either. I took a deep breath...

EMPOV

"What song do I have to sing first?" Edward grumbled. I adjusted the video camera I stole from Jasper and announced his song.

"Your first song is "I kissed a boy""

"isn't it I kissed a girl?"

"It _was_"

"Umm I don't know it..." he lied

"Excuse me? You were singing it last night while Bella was asleep"

"You-you _heard _that?" he said, worried now

"Edward the whole house heard you"

"oh..."

"Stop stalling! Edward go stand on the dining room table and start" Alice said impatiently

"fine" he muttered and made his way to the table, we all followed. He took a deep breath and began;

_Yo check it out I've got a plan, here's my intention  
The frat boys in the club are lame, let's start an altercation  
It's just what I'm used to, just want to mess shit up  
I've got my whole damn crew, come on what you gonna do_

_I kissed a boy and they liked it  
Got all the honeys in the club excited  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
That homeboy was not about it_

_I know it's wrong, but I don't mind  
I'm gonna start shit tonight  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
They just loved it_

_Now you don't even know my name, it doesn't matter  
Don't even front, you've got no game, you're just a sucker  
So what now, I clowned you, and I'm stealing your girl too  
She wants a secure dude, and that's just not you_

_I kissed a boy and they liked it  
Got all the honeys in the club excited  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
That homeboy was not about it_

_I know it's wrong, but I don't mind  
I'm gonna start shit tonight  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
They just loved it_

_Me and my bros that's how we roll, you never know how far we'll go  
I'll grab some chump that I don't know  
And plant one right on him  
You're only here for our amusement_

_I kissed a boy and they liked it  
Got all the honeys in the club excited  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
That homeboy was not about it_

_I know it's wrong, but I don't mind  
I'm gonna start shit tonight  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
They just loved it_

"Oh my gosh Edward!" Bella exclaimed "That's hilarious!" he just groaned and looked at Alice expectantly and muttered something about her 'method of torture'

"It's not that bad it's just a song... you have to sing 'Just Dance'" he groaned and started

_  
I've had a little bit too much (much)  
All of the people start to rush.  
Start to rush babe.  
How does he twist the dance?  
Can't find my drink or man.  
Where are my keys, I lost my phone.  
Whats go-ing out on the floor?  
I love this record baby, but I cant see straight anymore.  
Keep it cool whats the name of this club?  
I can't remember but it's alright, alright._

_  
Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Spin that record babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance._

_Wish I could shut my playboy mouth. (mouth)  
Howd I turn my shirt inside out? Inside out babe.  
Control your poison babe  
Roses with thorns they say.  
And were all gettin hosed tonight.  
Whats go-ing out on the floor?  
I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore.  
Keep it cool what's the name of this club?  
I can't remember but it's alright, alright._

_Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Spin that record babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance._

_When I come through on the dance floor checkin out that catalogue.  
Can't believe my eyes so many women without a flaw.  
And I aint gonna give it up, steady trying to pick it up like the car  
Imma hit it, Imma hit it and flex until the til done until tomorrow yeah.  
Shawty I can see that you got so much energy  
The way you twirling up them hips round and round  
There's no reason, I know why you can't leave here with me  
In the meantime stand, let me watch you break it down._

_Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Spin that record babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance._

_I'm psychotic sync hypnotic  
I got my blue burners and phonic  
I'm psychotic sync hypnotic  
I got my brand electronic  
I'm psychotic sync hypnotic  
I got my blue burners and phonic  
I'm psychotic sync hypnotic  
I got my brand electronicGo. Use your muscle coming out work and hustle  
I got it, just stay close enough to get it  
Go slow. Drive it, clean it like so clean it's been molesto, I got it, and your popped collin_

_Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Spin that record babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance._

We all couldn't hold it in now, Edward sounded so stupid it wasn't even funny

"Are you guys done torturing me yet?" Edward sighed

"Nope" Alice said eagerly

"Will it ever end?" Edward whined

"Never gonna happen" Jasper said cracking a smile "And your Last song is Pas De Cheval by Panic! At the Disco" Edward just rolled his eyes and began singing

_Oh, little did she know_

_Couldn't let me go_

_Already a part of her._

_So, often do I meet_

_People in between_

_That just couldn't get a hold_

_Of it._

_So we'll just sing it for them_

_Ahhhh_

_Yea we'll just sing if for them_

_(Just couldn't get a hold of it)_

_ So we'll just sing it for them_

_Ahhhh_

_Yeah, we'll just sing it_

_It's the greatest thing that's yet to have happened_

_Imagine knowing me_

_It's the greatest thing you'd ever imagine_

_But you'll never know until your there_

_No, you'll never know until you're there_

_Slow, leave walking to the world_

_Give your feet a chance _

_They'll do all the thinking_

_Toast, high until they find_

_Less pathetic wine_

_Until they get the better blend _

_Then we'll just drink if for them_

_Ahhhh_

_Yeah we'll just drink if for then_

_(Until they get a better blend)_

_So, we'll just drink it for them_

_Ahhhh_

_Yeah, we'll just drink it_

_It's the greatest thing yet to have happened_

_Imagine knowing me_

_It's the greatest thing you'd ever imagine_

_But you'll never know until your there_

_No, you'll never know until your there_

_It's the greatest thing yet to have happened_

_Imagine knowing me_

_It's the greatest thing you'd ever imagine_

_But you'll never know until your there_

_No, you'll never know until your there_

_No, you'll never know until your there_

"I refuse to do anymore" Edward said tenaciously

"That's fine, have your turn" Alice said, satisfied. I grinned and turned the camera off.

BPOV

I can't believe Edward sang _those_ songs. It's a good thing we're the only people who are here and will ever hear it.

"Okay so I guess it's my turn now... Bella truth or dare?" everyone looked at him and rolled their eyes, it was pretty obvious he was going to pick me.

"Truth" I said blushing

"Okay, when you first met me what were you thinking?" everyone groaned in perfect harmony, he had given me an obvious question

"You already know!" I protested

"Fine" he said giving me a look that said I would regret what I just said "When you first met Mike Newton what did you think of _him_?" Emmett and Jasper started snickering

"Well, I uhh... thought he was... nice," I paused, everyone was staring at me with burning curiosity "And he was kind of...cute" low chuckles coming from everyone but Edward who was staring at me intensely "That's it.. I thought he was nice and uhh, kind of cute..." I looked down at me feet as everyone laughed uncontrollably especially Emmett. But I knew how to stop that. Alice suddenly started laughing louder as she obviously saw what was going to happen in a vision.

"Emmett" his head shot towards me, an amused smile on his face "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, obviously"

"I was hoping you would say that" I said and snickered a little "Emmett, your dare is... " I whispered it to everyone who were all cachinnating.

"Aww, why do you guys get all the fun ones?" he said, disgruntled

"Fun!?!?!?" Alice shrieked

"At least you don't have to confess your undying love for _Newton_" He growled

"Dont forget Jessica and Lauren" Jasper added helpfully

"Okay Emmett this is an immediate dare so you have to do it now." He didn't say anything until he got to his jeep

"How are you going to know if I actually did it or not?" he asked

"Jasper, Edward and I will come."

"Why them?" whined Emmett

"'Cause Jasper can feel all of your emotions (and theirs) and Edward can read their minds and I'm the one who dared you so I obviously get to come"

"Fine, but duck down when I get to their houses..." he grumbled

When we finally started driving, I could hear Jasper and Edward snickering in the back seat –Emmett didn't want either of them up front but I didn't know why- other than them the ride to Jessica's house was uncomfortably quiet. Emmett parked across the street from her house and turned to me.

"What if she's not home?"

"Oh, trust me, she is. She's wondering why Emmett Cullen is in the car across the street." Edward replied.

Emmett cursed under his breath before putting on a fake smile and stepping out of the car and stalking across the street. When Jessica opened the door and started talking Edward narrated for me.

"_Emmett Cullen? What are you doing here?"_

"_I have something deathly important to tell you"_

"_Okay, go ahead"_

"_Jessica Stanley, I love you, I have always loved you. I want to lead a romantic life with you and never look back"_

"_Wha-what about Rosalie? She's gorgeous."_

"_She has nothing on you" _

"What's she thinking?" I whispered to Edward

"Beyond X rated thoughts" he shuddered

"_Oh my gosh! This is totally amazing! We can go live in Puerto Rico and have 48 kids and..."_

"_On second thought I'm not ready... see you at school tomorrow"_

_"BUt you dont even go to... never mind"_

"Shh he's coming back"

Emmett said nothing as he climbed in the car and drove off, leaving Jessica standing on her driveway confused. He was mad... the only thing he asked was where Lauren's house was and then he was silent again. When we got to Lauren's house he said the same story but Lauren's reaction was a lot more drastic

"_Of course you do!" Lauren yelled jumping into Emmett's arms, tracing her fingers along his neck and trying to rip his shirt off._

"_Uhh yea... actually" he said putting her down "I just realized that we're too young, okay bye."_

"_Where do you think _you're _going?" _

"_Um, home?"_

"_You're not leaving, you came, you stay" Lauren said ferociously, talking a step towards Emmett. He reacted by taking a step back. She glared at him and took another step forward, bigger this time. He took three overly large steps back, I'm sure he would have taken more but she lunged herself at him. Quickly, he turned around and ran towards the jeep._

"Start the car!!!!" he yelled opening the door, I turned the keys and he accelerated before the door was even closed. He blew a sigh of relief, like he had been holding his breath.

"Holy crap! Speed up, she's following us!" Jasper yelled, peering out the back window.

"Edward?!?!? What should we do?" I yelled over Emmett and Jasper's frantic shouting.

"Emmett, turn left right now!" Edward roared, we were halfway through the intersection at the time and I knew Emmett was capable of turning in time, he did and Lauren just kept going straight.

"We lost her" I said, relaxing.

"Just in time too, theres Mike" Jasper pointed to a blond figure walking down the street about 2 block away.

"Damn" I heard Emmett mutter under his breath before pulling over and getting out of the car.

"Make it convincing!" I yelled after him

"_Hey Mike?" Emmett yelled, running towards him_

"_Who me?"_

"_Yes, you silly!" Emmett giggled "I have something to tell you"_

"_Umm, okay" Mike said, looking around Emmett._

"_Mike Newton. I have realized that my life with Rosalie is not the kind I want to lead, I want to lead a romantic and happy life with, you."_

_Mike just stood there, staring. He opened his mouth to say something but Emmett put his hand under his mouth and angled his head to look into his eyes_

"_Shh, don't say any thing, just kiss me" he said leaning in_

"_umm well if you're sure..." Mike said, closing the space between them and pressing his lips to Emmett's for half a millisecond before Emmett yelled_

"_DUDE! I. DO. NOT. SWING. THAT. WAY!!! ITS CALLED A DARE!!!" he yelled while wiping his lips and running into the nearest corner store before emerging with an entire bottle of listerine to his mouth, rinsing furiously. Mike was blushing more than I ever have and was mumbling something along the lines of,'I knew that'._

Emmett stalked back to the car and glared at Jasper, Edward and I

"I hate you all" he announced angrily and started speeding back towards the house, cursing furiously.

"So, Emmett... I suppose now's not the best time to tell you," Jasper started

"Tell me what" he growled, really sounding like a vampire

"That... your entire dare was on tape" he held up a small palm sized video camera to emphasize the point

"It what?!" he yelled, reaching behind the seat and trying to take it from Jasper, who quickly handed it to Edward

"Give me the tape." He growled. Edward just smirked

"No"

"Fine," Emmett said and twisted around, managing to pump the gas harder. I grabbed the wheel and tryed to steer but at this speed it was next to impossible.

"Emmett what the hell are you doing?!?! There is a _human _in the car!" Edward roared "and if you dont get your hands back on that wheel right now this video goes all over youtube!" Emmett gave Edward a death glare and slowly turned around and took the wheel from me. I heard Jasper snickering and saying something about blackmail and then I saw Emmett throw something at him, I think it was a bowling ball.

"Emmett for the last time, there is a human in the car. Behave!" Edward snapped. Emmett just made a face and pulled into the driveway.

As the house came into sight I could see Alice and Rosalie standing on the porch waiting for us, I could see Alice laughing and Rosalie smiling.

"So," Alice said casually "how did it go?" she had asked knowing the answer.

"Horrible" Emmett growled, walking straight towards Rosalie

"Aww poor Emmett." she said sarcastically

"Actually I do feel kind of bad for him..." Edward said "He _did _have to kiss Mike" Rosalie grinned wider

"Can we just start playing?" Emmett said impatiently, hoping to get the attention off of him

"Yea sure" we all agreed

"Okay, Jasper. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Jasper said automatically

"Okay I dare you to go to Walmart, pick up some feminine products and ask random people what they're for"

"Fine, lets get this over with" Jasper said, his jaw locked.

-At Walmart-

JPOV

I got out of the car and trudged my way into the store. I was greeted buy a younger girl probably about 16.

"Hi! Welcome to Walmart!" she said to enthusiastically, if only she knew I could and would bite her head off right now if there was no one around.. I just stalked past her, trying not to think about it. I kept my head down until I got to my destiniation. I picked up a box of tampons and started walking backwards but I hit another shelf and an entire row of boxes fell. I shrugged and walked over to an elderly lady.

"Excuse me ma'am I was wondering if you could help me with something" I said with all the politeness I could muster

"Oh, yes. what do you need honey?" she asked softly and sweetly

"Umm I-I was wondering what these were for" I motioned to the box in my hand

"Oh deary its for women and i'm sure a young man like yourself would have no intrest in it what so ever" she said innocently some colour rising in her wrinkled cheeks

"Okay thank you" I said with a little head nod and walked quickly away. One down however many to go. I sighed and walked over to one of the employees

"Excuse me sir" I said, he turned and glared at me

"What do you want kid? i'm, busy" I sent waves of admiration to him but I think I overdid it " I mean, how may I help you" he winked

"Yea, I was wondering what these are for" the waves of lust coming off of him were so horrifying I stopped giving him emotion but I could still feel it, I quickly threw waves of revulsion at him. He scowled

"Jeez kid, dont they teach you _anything _at school?" his sentence slowed as if he was talking to a three year old "its for when a _girl _gets her period jeez" I didn't like the way he said girl, I think he was aiming that at me. I made my eyes go black as pitch and growled slightly

"Thank you" I said still glaring, he started backing up then grabbed his walkie-talkie.

"C-Coming" he choked and ran -no- sprinted to the back room. I smirked and went to the help counter, hopefully my final stop.

"Excuse me but I was wondering if you could assist me" I said to the chick behind the counter, when she turned around her jaw dropped. She gaped at me for a few seconds before falling to the floor. I leaned over the counter

"Are you okay?" no answer

"Can I get some assistance please? Your employee is kind of... unconcious" I said with a human panicked tone, a small group of people came and crowded near the desk as we all waited for someone to help her. When the paramedics finally came I slipped out of the room, dumped the tampons in some old guy's cart and left.

When I got to the car they were all looking at me funny.

"What?"

"Oh nothing" Emmett said trying to be casual but started snickering afterwards. I just ignored him and turned to get in the drivers seat. Everyone started laughing again, I whipped around

"What is it?" I demanded, Bella just giggled and shook her head. Everyone stared at me while I glared at them all one at a time then got into the car.

"What the hell did you guys put on my seat?" I yelled sitting down and feeling something underneath me. I stood up to see there was nothing there.

"Check your pockets" Alice whispered helpfully. My hand flew into my back pocket and imerged full of tampons which I immediatly threw like they had burned me. Everyone laughed again.

"Wow Alice, I didn't know Jasper was like that" Rosalie said sarcastically

"Haha Rose. Your so funny. Truth or dare?" I said, glaring through the rear view mirror

"Dare"

"When we get home I dare you to _burn _your favorite dress"

"NO! Not the black and red one!!! You can't force me to do that"

"Are you using a chicken then? You only have 12 left for the next 300 years" Rosalie looked torn, obviously considering both options.

"Fine, i'll do it " she finally grumbled as we pulled up to the house.

RPOV

Ohh Jasper's going to get it. Just wait until next time, he's going to regret ever _thinking _about making me do this. When we pulled up to the house I got out of the car before it stopped and ran into the house, I just needed to say goodbye and after all the good times we'd had together this was going to be hard.

EMPOV

Aww man Rosie's not going to be in a good mood after this, so much for tonight. It was going to be so much fun, first I would decorate the room then wait on the bed for her then...

"Enough!!" Edward shouted, holding his head "Emmett get your head out of the damned gutter!"

_'Your just jelous'_ I thought, hoping he would listen. He glared at me _'you know its true'_ I teased walking up the stairs.

We all filed into our bathroom where Rosalie had put the dress in the bathtub and had a thing of matches in her hand. I put my arm around her as she lit the match and dropped it onto the dress, I'm positive she would have cried if she could have. The bathroom started to fill with smoke and I saw Edward lead Bella out of the room but the rest of us stayed until there was nothing but a small pile of ashes. Rosalie slumped to the floor tearlessly sobbing when everyone but me left.

"Shh, its okay. I'll buy you a new one" I comforted. She looked up at me sadly

"You can't! There were only ninety of them made all over the world"

"We can find you something better, like in Seattle while were staying in the house we have just outside of it" I winked,

"Okay" she purred, in the living room I could he Edward hitting his head on the wall "Lets go now" and she hopped out the window

"Were going to Seattle!" I yelled and followed her

APOV

Hmmm Emmett and Rosalie are going to their house in Seattle, thats a pretty good idea. What the...

"Edward why the hell are you hitting your head on the wall?"

"You have no clue what they were thinking" then it hit me like running into a solid steel wall

"OH EM GEE! My eyes, they burn!" I screamed, Edward stared at me then started to look sick. At the same time we bolted to the washroom, trying to get to the sink. We started pushing each other

"Move! I need the water!" I screamed knowing what little the water could actually do but it would get my mind off of the horridness I had just seen

"I NEED IT MORE!" Edward protested, pushing me again when Bella walked in.

"Umm there are like 6 bathrooms in this house why are you fighting over one?"

"Because Alice wont let me have this one"

"Why do you guys need the bathroom anyway? Your vampires"

"Because Emmett and Rosalie are...are... OMC I JUST SAW IT AGAIN! WHERE'S THE SOAP!?!?!" I screamed

"I call this one!" Edward and I both yelled the the same time reaching for the bar on the counter

"So you two _vampires_ are fighting over the bathroom because of Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Yea, thats right. We are vampires who are fighting over the bathroom because we have just seen what Emmett and Rosalie are doing right now" she formed her lips into a slightly horrified 'O' and shuddered.

"Well then, its been fun but I kinda feel like I should puke my guts out now" she said leaving the room

"You heard Bella, there is more then one bathroom now go find another one!" I yelled at Edward

BPOV

I shuddered as I left the room, concidering what Emmett is like that must have been horrible to see.

"Hello Bella" Jasper said when I walked into the living room

"Oh hey Jasper, whatcha doing?"

"Just sending arguementative emotions to Alice and Edward" he grinned, chuckling to himself. I nodded my head and sat next to him on the couch

"That's always fun"

"Mhmm. So do you want to play a game or something?" he said, turning to look at me

"Sure?" I said raising an eyebrow at him curiously

"Umm, what do you want to play? We have cards or something..."

"Yea, we could play a few rounds of 21 while we wait for Alice and Edward to stop fighting over the bathroom" the sentence sounded weird to me for some odd reason, I shrugged and walked over to get the cards but they were no longer on the table, Jasper had taken them and set up the game on the coffee table. I gave him a look

"What? you took a long time..." he smirked "So put your game face on! Lets play"

I'm not sure how long we had been playing but Jasper was dominating me. I yawned, how late was it? Jasper frowned

"Sorry Bella! I forgot completely that you need to sleep"

"Well what time is it?" I said, yawning again

"2 am" he said sheepishly

"Holy crow! How did it get so late?!?"

"Time flies when your having fun? I'll put the cards away" he offered

"Sure" I said sleepily and stumbled towards the doorway where I tripped over my foot. The cold, hard object I hit was not very floor-like, I turned to see Jasper holding me above the ground. He set me upright

"Are you sure you can make it up the stairs?"

"I think so" I said walking towards the staircase.

Halfway up I tripped and caught myself with my hands, I smiled at Jasper in embarrasment and crawled the rest of the way up.

"You do not!" I heard Alice shreik

"I do to and you know it!" Edward yelled in response

"Are you two _still _fighting over the damned bathroom?" I asked sleepily and yawned

"No" Edward said at the same time Alice said "Yes"

"You guys are so immature sometimes"

"Excuse me but i'm a _girl _" Alice said rolling her eyes

"_What_ever_. _Anyways, I'm going to bed" Edward immediatly stopped fighting with Alice and followed me to his room

"Goodnight Bella." he said, kissing me on the forehead after tucking me in bed and lying down next to me.

"When are Rosalie and Emmett going to get back?" curiosity in my voice

"If we're lucky they'll be back in a week" he chuckled to himself then looked confused "That was fast"

"Were back" I heard Emmett say softly seeing as in a house of vampires everyone could here him.

"What," Jasper chuckled "house not as strong as you thought it was?"

"No, for your big fat information it wasn't" Emmett said, a cross between anger and disapointment in his voice. I heard Alice tittering musically downstairs. I strained my neck to try to hear what they were saying, all I heard was Emmett say he had to go do something and he came up the stairs.

Edward started humming my lullaby which reminded me

"Edward? Did you finish the CD for the play?"

"Mhmm it's in my bag" he murmered "now go to sleep, its very late"

EMPOV

Mwhahahahahahahaha Edward will never see this coming, he's too busy with Bella to read my thoughts... so I'll just replace this clip with the one from my camera. Perfect, its done, now I'll just put the disc back in its case and back where I found it.

BPOV

A dull gray light started streaming throught the windows, I rolled over and wrapped my arms around Edward, not wanting to wake up. He kissed my hair

"Good morning Love" he murmered

"mmmm" I grumbled, he chuckled and sat up

"We have school today, I believe its the day of the call back too" I groaned

"All the more reason to stay home today"

"Silly Bella you need to get your education otherwise you could end up like... like Emmett" he chuckled

"I heard that!" Emmett yelled from somewhere downstairs, I smiled and grudgingly sat up

"I'll let you have your human moment" Edward winked and left the room, closing the door behind him. I sighed and crawled out of the large bed. I walked over the my suitcase but tripped on the edge of the carpet.

"I hate mondays" I muttered, picking myself up, Emmetts booming laugh bellowed below me. I slipped into my jeans and my t-shirt and came downstairs all to quickly, I tripped on the last step and flew into Emmett, my arms instinctivley flew around him

"Aww trip again Bella?" He laughed "Maybe if I helped you" his arm came under my legs and he scooped me up and carried me out to Edward's waiting car. I was confused, trying to figure out what was going on

"Dont look at me like that Bella, I'm married" he said jokingly, somehow managing to open the passenger side door and keep me from falling at the same time then slipped me into the seat.

"Emmett!" I protested "I havn't even eaten breakfast yet!" he dissapeared and when he came back he threw a banana at me

"Enjoy!" he yelled, walking back into the house.

"That was fast Bella" Edward smiled gently "So why was Emmett carrying you? His thoughts didn't make any sense"

"I tripped coming down the stairs" I whispered "then he just started carrying me I dont know why exactly"

"Hmm" He appeared to be deep in thought as he started driving down the long driveway.

After driving in silence for a good twenty minutes I finally brought myself to say something.

"Are you honestly going to make me go to the call-back?"

"I'm not making you do anything love, but I would like it if you did. It would be a nice human experience for you" my shoulders slumped and I folded my arms across my chest

"Do I have to?" I whined, he glanced at me and smiled softly

"You don't _have_ to... but I would love to see you try" I sighed

"Fine" he gave me his special crooked grin and parked the car.

Before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt Edward had opened my door, and pressed his cold lips to mine. I could feel he was smiling, I tried to look around him. He felt this and murmered Mike Newton against my lips and I could feel his body shaking slightly, he was laughing.

"What?"

"haha, Mike was so sure today would be the day he would get you. He had it all planned out in his head."

"Doesn't he know that I'll be with you all day?"

"Oh he had that part covered..." I cocked an eyebrow

"How so?" he shrugged

"He had a shot put weight in his bag"

"He was going to hit you with a miniature canon ball?!?!?!"

"It wouldn't have hurt Bella..."

"It would hurt a normal person, how would you have reacted to that hmm?"

"Well I could always roll on the ground in pain but that should break some bones so... I would just step out of the way. Not that Mike has good aim in the first place, he would probably end up breaking a window or something..." he chuckled and helped me out of the car.

I could clearly see Mike fuming now, it looked like he might actually explode, his face was so red and even from across the parking lot I could see his fists balled. All of the sudden the wind blew gently, pushing my hair in my face. Mike immediatly relaxed and smiled where as Edward growled, probably at what Mike was thinking

"What a pig." he growled, I looked at him, a confused expression on my face. He gave me a look that said I really didn't want to know

"Tell me... please" I whispered the last part, for a second he looked pained, then angry and then apologetic

"He was thinking about kissing you" I knew that wasn't all of it so I crossed my arms and waited

"And he was kind of imagining howgoodyouwouldbeinbed" he rushed the last part then held up his index finger "hold on a second" before I could say anything, he was gone, I looked around for him but I couldn't see him anywhere. Next thing I knew I couldn't see Mike either,

_where did they go?_ I wondered although I didn't have very much time to think about it because Edward was already back grinning slightly and wrapping his arms around me.

"What did you do to Mike?" I asked. His slight grin turned into a full blown smile, reaching ear to ear.

"Nothing... much" he chuckled

"What kind of nothing?"

"The knock him out and move him kind..." I glared at him

"You knocked Mike out?!"

"Gently.. it was a pressure point and he'll wake up shortly"

"Where did you bring him?"

"Some place thats most reffered to as the girls locker room"

"You left Mike on one of the benches of the girs locker room?!"

"Don't be silly Bella, I put him in a locker" I froze

"What locker?" I asked tentativley

"Umm, Locker 3...72 I believe" I burst out laughing, he looked confused

"Edward! That's Lauren's locker and she has P.E. first period!" that was all I could get out before I doubled over in laughter. After a few minutes the warning bell rang seizing my laugher for the moment, I was still giggling when Edward and I walked into English.

Shortly after the bell rang the teacher motioned for Edward to bring the CD up to the front desk so he swiftly got up and walked towards her.

EPOV

Thid CD was amazing if I do say so myself I had finally found the perfect song for each section

"Edward, we're going to play this at the call-back today at lunch all right?" she said taking it from me, I grinned

"Sure, now I wasn't able to find suitable songs for a few of them so I created them on piano. We'll see how they turned out at lunch then" I turned on my heel and quickly walked back to my desk, why must she think such things about me? In human ages she's over 15 years older than I am, Bella must have noticed the slightly disgruntled look on my face because she turned to me

"Edward? What's wrong?" I sighed

"Nothing Love, just, as I've probably said before, reading people's thoughts isn't always... fun"

"Aww is the teacher thinking naughty things about little Eddy?" she teased

"No. The teacher is thinking beyond naughty things about little _Edward_ ." I groaned

"Ick, I'm no Jasper but I can feel your pain right now" I raised my eyebrows expectantly "Mike." She groaned back I nodded sympathetically.

-Lunch-

BPOV

"Come on Bella it wont be so bad" Edward said, tugging my arm gently

"Oh yes it will! Anything that involves me in front of people will be horrible" I buried my face in my hands

"Bella, you underestimate yourself. Although you havn't shown me personally you can act," he smirked "I'm sure you'll do fine." I just shook my head in disbelief, it is not going to be fine, it's going to be a disaster. I just know it.

When we finally walked in the room I realized that we were the last ones there and we were obviously interrupting something. As everyone stared, I shrunk into Edward, trying to make myself invisible. He just wrapped his arm tighter around my waist and made his way over to the only table with available seats, unfortunatly this table also seated Lauren, Mike and Eric.

"Hey Bella!" Mike whispered enthusiastically

"Umm hi Mike, whats going on?"

"Oh she was just praising your boyfriend for the CD then she was looking for the stereo..." Mike explained

"Found it!" She exclaimed happily "Oh, Edward, Bella! You're here! We were just about to listen to Edward's CD" Edward beamed proudly as she slipped the CD in the stereo and turned up the volume.

Edward's grin quickly turned into a shocked grimace when the second song started, I had to listen to it for a second before I realized what it was

_Yo check it out I've got a plan, here's my intention  
The frat boys in the club are lame, let's start an altercation  
It's just what I'm used to, just want to mess shit up  
I've got my whole damn crew, come on what you gonna do..._

EPOV

There were a few 'Oh My Goshes' before everyone burst out in hysteric laughter, even Bella was trying to stiffle her own laughter. Oh Emmett would pay for this big time. I heard a faint tap at the window, much to quiet for human ears. I glanced over and Emmett was making faces at me, to go along with the song, which had just changed and there were a few people singing along to it.

_Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Spin that record babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just dance. Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance._

I swiftly made a slicing motion accross my neck followed by making my hands wring his imaginary neck.

EMPOV

-in the parking lot-

Heeheehee this is perfect, little Eddy is embarassed but this isn't the end, it doesn't matter if he can hear my thoughts now because there is no way he can make it outside in time. It's a good thing he's stupid enough to leave a spare set of keys in the drawer by the front door. Stupid Edward.

EPOV

-inside-

I am going to kill Emmett, I dont know or care how but either way, he is going to pay. I thought as the teacher took the CD out and glared at me

"Not funny Edward! but I do still want to hear those songs you wrote, maybe you could come over sometime, I have a small upright piano back home..." _Although you don't nessicarily have to play it... _I stopped listening there, she could be such a creeper.

"Umm that won't be nessicary, I am fairly sure my brother Emmett" She shuddered "switched the CD I actually made, with this one, I promise it wont happen again" _hmm should I let him have a second chance? Yea sure why not, he _is _unbelievably hot..._

"I guess if you bring in the Actual CD on Wednsday, it will be okay"

"Okay thank you very much, this is greatly appriciated." I smiled at her then sat beside Bella again

"Wow Edward. I didn't know you were into girl songs" Mike snickered. I just smiled sweetly at him

"At least I dont kiss guys" Bella actually fell off her chair laughing, Mike blushed

"Mike!" Jessica yelled angrily, hitting him on the back of the head "I didn't know you swung that way! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Uhh... well... You see, " He tried to explain

"Okay everyone quiet down! It seems we have run out of time for the day so we'll meet again on Wednsday and get the Act-Off started" the teacher stared at Bella on the floor and left the room

_'teenagers are _weird_' _she thought as she walked down the hallway, I helped Bella off the floor and together we made our way to biology

-After school-

BPOV

Edward looked angry as we ran up the long driveway, after he told me it was all Emmett's fault I understood and now I feared for Emmett's existance. Edward must have been reading my facial expressions

"You don't need to worry Bella, I won't hurt him too badly... he may temperalily lose a limb but-"

"You might take his arm off!!!! Or leg! or other arm or other leg!" he chuckled and he finally put me down

"Ok Bella calm down, I won't do that then." he growled "What does he want now, can't he just call my name?!"

"What's he doing?"

"Screaming the word _Eddy_ in his head and-" he stopped talking to me long enough to yell something at Emmett

"Emmett! My name is NOT _Eddy _OR _Eddikins, Eddipuss _or any other bazzaar remake of my name you can think of!" he then turned to me and smiled softly "sorry about that... can we go inside before I snap please?"

"Sure sure."

When we walked inside the first thing I saw was Jasper and Emmett staring intently at the television.

"Emmett what did you want?" Emmett just waved him over

"What are you- OMC IS THAT MY CAR?!?!" I hurried over to see what was going on, on the tv was a huge monster truck crushing a large amount of cars and being driven out was Edward's silver volvo. I turned around but I couldn't see him, all of the sudden he was by the front door

"Alice I'm taking your porsche!" He yelled, sprinting out the front door. Emmett just chuckled and looked back at the television.

"You think he'll make it?" Jasper asked quietly

"Hmm he is in Alice's porsche and he's pretty damn determined.. so yea"

"50 bucks says he won't, the show is all the way in Seattle and the car is already in play"

"I'll take you up on that..." Emmett grinned, shaking Jasper's hand.

A few moment later my jaw dropped, something flashed on the screen and dove through the volvo's open window

"OH EM GEE! IS THAT _EDWARD?!?!?!?_" I shouted as the car started driving away from the truck and towards the door. I started watching more intently then Emmett and Jasper were when Edward and I first came through the door. The exit was closing, there was no way he was going to make it now so he turned, the monster truck hit the door and broke it off.

The cameras started zooming in on Edward as he circled around the ring and out the door. He was alone for about 11 seconds before a swarm of police cars started following him.

"24, wow. That beats my record..." Emmett said "Anyways Pay up Jasper" Jasper rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet, handing Emmett a fifty.

"How long will it take for him to get home?" I asked them, but it was Alice who answered as she skipped down the stairs

"Bella we have a long night ahead of us... he wont be back until noon..."

"Holy crow, _noon?!" _she just smiled and nodded.

She was right, this was going to be a very, very long night.

**Its done!!! and it only took -checks watch- umm idk how long but its over now, please r and r and lemme know what you thought.**

**PLease vote in my poll and I thank my friends and loyal readers for support and idea's!**

**Picture of Rosalie's dress in my profile!!!**


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